When you look back at those days when you gave life to your first child, it becomes emotional.
Over 5 years ago, I was just about to become a mum for the first time. I was scared, confused and quiet fed up of the process of pregnancy. It just lasts too long and is so uncomfortable.
The worst part of it was that I didn’t enjoy the whole process at all. It was all so alien to me. We didn’t know the baby’s gender and that was for me the hardest part. I couldn’t look at my belly and imagine a little baby inside as that would immediately connect with a gender. And because we didn’t want to find out the gender, I just felt so disconnected. I wish I had gone for another scan to find out was it a boy or a girl, but at that time I just felt I could wait and find out at the birth.
My birth was quite smooth. I was overdue by 12 days and on the 13th day I was induced.
I went to hospital with full make up on, hair done, not even knowing what I am going to look like in few hours! Lol.
I got a bed in the Rosie Hospital in Cambridge and cannot remember how long we had to wait for the first set of fingers in my vagina! Probably 2 hours.
My mum came with me and she literally said “I can’t cope! I want to go home and I cannot watch you being in pain!” So my mum left me in there, waiting for news of a new arrival.
I was induced, got some gel on my cervix and within 20 min I became so uncomfortable. I felt I needed to sit on toilet. My bits were on FIRE!!!
We went to some separate room where I kept bouncing on the ball where everything just seemed to be worse! My husband (Neil) kept laughing and saying “you are so funny! It can’t be working already!” I obviously wanted to kill him at this point as I was soooo uncomfortable.
Fast forward 2 hours later, I was screaming in pain, going from bed to toilet where nothing happened and then one nurse said I should go and lay in the bath that they had on the ward. I spent probably 30 mins in the water and the pain just got worse. When I got up from the bath I was literally hammered to the floor from pain! I think it was a contraction!
I could barely walk! Neil took me to the bed where I kept screaming (I was like those loud women haha) and I said to Neil “These contractions are so intense!” And he kept going to the midwives telling that I am in pain and my contractions were at that time 1 min long with 1 min rest!!!!!!
Midwives kept telling him “It is still early. Give her water.” Without even checking me.
After an hour, one of the midwives finally came and I was 6 cm dilated.
They took me straight to the delivery ward. I really felt like I was going to pass out from the pain! I loved gas and air though! I felt on a high and I saw myself dancing in the Beach Club, drunk as hell! But I was actually just giving birth. Doh.
Back to reality, my labour lasted around 5 hours. Baby’s heart rate kept dropping and every time I saw his heart rate drop, my heart sank. And it kept going down and back to normal. They kept changing my positions and I just was in so much pain that I had no idea how to cope anymore. Still on gas and air though.
It came to the moment when the midwife said “baby is not happy. We are just going to put a heart rate monitor on top of his head. Is that ok?” I stopped caring about my body, I just want baby to be out and safe. Of course I said it was ok. Do what you need to do.
It came the moment where baby’s heart rate kept dropping and finally I was fully dilated and they told me to push. I was petrified as it was nothing in my control and all I remember was that the buzzer was pressed and the room was full of people. Suddenly time had stopped and I had faith that I am in safe hands.
I had a doctor shouting to me “I have to cut you to get the baby out. Ok?”. I had NO IDEA what cutting (episiotomy) meant, but I just didn’t care. Next few minutes of fear, my vagina was chopped, my little baby was taken out by suction cap and my baby was a boy. Big boy. He didn’t even feel tiny. We called him Hugo. I started crying and holding my little bundle on my chest. Suddenly realising who was growing under my heart for long 9 months.
It was emotional as it can be. He was just perfect. He slept on my chest for hours. I love that in the UK baby stays with you all the time. He was just next to me. What was strange, I had no idea what I was doing. Giving him my breast to keep him fed was just a strange experience. But the whole concept of becoming a mum is (for myself) a real, stressful event, filled with incredible joy of creating a little mini version of you and your soulmate.
The birth in total lasted 5 hours and I only had gas and air for pain relief.
If I cut out from the story the ending joy from having Hugo, and just focus on my physical discomfort post birth, I wish I have been informed more…
Squashy tummy and being sick post birth, after the first standing up to have a shower, putting the first “nappy” on me and to accept granny pants for few months post birth, severe constipation, piles, SORE boobs (this is omg), not being able to sit due to episiotomy for 3 months and I wish I had a list of things “just in case if happens and its solutions”.
Maybe I just didn’t want to know and I felt unprepared. All I know now is I am so happy to have 2 amazing kids and I would do it all again for them. They often ask me if I can give them a brother or sister and I am so happy I told them “No more!”. Only if it happens. Hope not! Ha! :)))
What was your birth story? How long did your labour last? It is amazing how we are all so different and how we all have different stories. I would love to hear from you 🙂
Lots of love,